More than 2 months since I've put thoughts to paper. Virtual paper, I guess. Have I been way too busy, or am I a little less compulsive? Maybe both.
An unexpected by-product of my attempts to simplify has surprised me. I think I may be learning how to be a friend. I wouldn't admit it, but I am guilty of being a "surface" friend. I justify this by saying my personalty type doesn't really need many friends, so I don't bother much with it.
This revelation has evolved because I am trying to really BE in the moment I find myself. I have quit reading most fiction because I found for me it was a way to put off doing more important things. Now, since I'm not always finishing up a book, I'm learning to engage in different ways. One way is that I don't take along a book to read when Stan & I are going somewhere. I am actually trying a little harder at conversation. More than just, "I'm hungry, how about you" or "Want me to drive for a while?" I'm not saying we have deep thought-provoking conversations every time we hop in the pick-up, but at least I don't immediately stick my nose in a book.
Where before I used up bits of time in a novel, now I look for other options. This has taken the form of notes in the mail, phone conversations, and the like.
Last week, I went to camp with our WATW students, and I decided to try something different. Actually, the Lord prompted me to do it differently, because my first thought was to use pool time and free time for a good book--I did deserve a break, after all! But He took me to a verse in Galatians (5:9) "A little yeast spreads through the whole batch of dough,"---and offered me a challenge. I know it's out of context, but this verse prompted me to be a little "yeast" of encouragement and investing in others, rather than doing my own thing.
I used this challenge to speak more encouragement into staff and students, to play some card games, to help in the kitchen, even introduce the sport of kayaking to a few people! The result? I know 13 people a little more than I did before. Does that please the Lord? I think maybe more than if I had just read a book--even a good book!
Change is hard for me, especially in the area of "my" time, but I think I'm growing. Even though it's sometimes uncomfortable, I like the feeling. A pastor I admire once said that if we want to be actively engaged in Kingdom work, we need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. I'm workin' on it!
Lest you think I've given up books all together, today I found a used bookstore in Cleveland I'd not known about. Spent a great hour or so there, with plans to go back. And yes, I did enlarge my library by a few volumes.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
A Long Obedience in the Same Direction
That is the title of a book Eugene Peterson wrote about 30 years ago. I've always liked the title. Stan bought me the book a few years ago, and I decided I actually liked the name better than the book! But the truth of my walk is still in that title.
Simplicity, vision and purpose are also about a long obedience in the same direction. I started 2010 determined to simplify my life. This would also help me clarify, I thought. And it is giving me focus in unintended ways.
I am learning to be alone with my thoughts, and realize that introspection can be a good use of my time. I tend to value my day by the number of things on my list getting done. Often, the list is longer than the day. But the things on my list need to be quantified. You know---do the laundry, walk my three miles, practice the piano, even prepare a lesson. But some things don't go well on a list---think about what I read in Romans this morning, what does Paul mean in II Timothy when he says to enjoy the first fruits of my labor. How does that apply to me?
I believe I am just putting one foot in front of the other every day in my walk with Jesus. I think that's how I fulfill my "determined purpose" to know Him better. I will keep on simplifying, and clearing the cobwebs from my thoughts. I am becoming more comfortable with "just" thinking sometimes, rather than having a book or two by my side.
It's a battle, though, to keep on the road to simplicity in our world filled with all kinds of diversions. But then I remember a verse in Ecclesiastes (7:29 TEV), "God made us plain and simple, but we have made ourselves very complicated." I am daily choosing to no longer be complicated, but rather an open book for the Lord to use as He wants.
Simplicity, vision and purpose are also about a long obedience in the same direction. I started 2010 determined to simplify my life. This would also help me clarify, I thought. And it is giving me focus in unintended ways.
I am learning to be alone with my thoughts, and realize that introspection can be a good use of my time. I tend to value my day by the number of things on my list getting done. Often, the list is longer than the day. But the things on my list need to be quantified. You know---do the laundry, walk my three miles, practice the piano, even prepare a lesson. But some things don't go well on a list---think about what I read in Romans this morning, what does Paul mean in II Timothy when he says to enjoy the first fruits of my labor. How does that apply to me?
I believe I am just putting one foot in front of the other every day in my walk with Jesus. I think that's how I fulfill my "determined purpose" to know Him better. I will keep on simplifying, and clearing the cobwebs from my thoughts. I am becoming more comfortable with "just" thinking sometimes, rather than having a book or two by my side.
It's a battle, though, to keep on the road to simplicity in our world filled with all kinds of diversions. But then I remember a verse in Ecclesiastes (7:29 TEV), "God made us plain and simple, but we have made ourselves very complicated." I am daily choosing to no longer be complicated, but rather an open book for the Lord to use as He wants.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Spending My Words....Spinning My Words
Read something the other day that got me thinking. "We spend our words on lavishly sharing our stories; now it's time to spend our lives."
I like words. I like the way a right word can make a point. And even though I know a picture is worth a 1,000 words, I like crafting a sentence to present the image I want. A favorite from My Utmost is December 15, "Approved to God". II Timothy 2:15 says "Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive His approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth." Chambers has this to say:" If you cannot express yourself well on each of your beliefs, work and study until you can....Always make it a practice to stir your own mind thoroughly to think through what you have easily believed. Your position is not your until you make it yours through suffering and study."
But I so easily get caught up in words. They come at me from every angle. With TV, books, radio, internet, cell phones, FB and more, there is an abundance of words both in my head and in the air. I have been "Home Alone" with just the dogs for the past 10 days, and I have made an effort not to have things going just for the sake of noise. Sometimes the silence is uncomfortable, but is is beginning to become my friend. In the silence, God speaks to me. Maybe it's just that He doesn't have to compete. Pretty sad to think that God would have to compete with the 6 o'clock news!
In this silence, He has reminded me that it's not about how I spend my words, it's how I spend my life. He took me to Isaiah 55, where God says,"Why spend your money on food that doesn't give strength? Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life." For me, time IS my currency, and I don't want to waste it. I know the places where He wants me to spend my currency right now, and one of them is the County Justice Center. So it was fitting yesterday, after sharing God's Word with the women, that one of them came up to me and said, "I like your words, and the way you talk. Where can I learn more?"
I just smiled, because it wasn't my words she liked at all, it was the life-changing Word of God that caused her to ponder.
Friday, April 2, 2010
First Quarter Insights
The first three months of 2010 have whizzed by, and the bookkeeper in me tells me it's time for a Quarterly Review. I have gone 90 days without using a structured devotional or Bible study for my personal time with Jesus. I have limited my reading of fiction to 1 book a month, and I haven't even picked out April's book yet! I have fought with the "stuff" in my life, lost a few skirmishes, but continue on the march to simplicity. Things just seem to multiply and overwhelm, and it's not an easy battle.
One of my favorite verses says to...make it my aim to lead a quiet life and to mind my own business....so that people who are not Christians will respect the way I live. That's another big assignment.
Something is slowly emerging, though, and I am excited about this change. It's like my head is not as full of fragments of different things as it used to be. Where before I was always reading something, I don't feel insecure if I'm not attached to reading material. I am memorizing verses (not on a schedule, tho), and I find myself reflecting more on them. I am thinking about things. Pondering. Reflecting. Looking for another's point of view. Asking God for His perspective a whole lot more---not looking for my answer in a stack of books.
In a nutshell, to know God is to know His Word, and as I take in more of the Bible, I deepen that relationship. I am sensing this in my mind, where I am becoming less distracted. It's like when a situations arises, I am able to see the root issues more quickly, and hear His voice!
Like many people, although I'm a great starter, sometimes the finishing of a thing is another matter. But this time of just the Bible and a journal is taking me places that are giving me contentment deep in my soul, even when things don't look so contented! I am determined to keep at it.....no matter the cost.
One of my favorite verses says to...make it my aim to lead a quiet life and to mind my own business....so that people who are not Christians will respect the way I live. That's another big assignment.
Something is slowly emerging, though, and I am excited about this change. It's like my head is not as full of fragments of different things as it used to be. Where before I was always reading something, I don't feel insecure if I'm not attached to reading material. I am memorizing verses (not on a schedule, tho), and I find myself reflecting more on them. I am thinking about things. Pondering. Reflecting. Looking for another's point of view. Asking God for His perspective a whole lot more---not looking for my answer in a stack of books.
In a nutshell, to know God is to know His Word, and as I take in more of the Bible, I deepen that relationship. I am sensing this in my mind, where I am becoming less distracted. It's like when a situations arises, I am able to see the root issues more quickly, and hear His voice!
Like many people, although I'm a great starter, sometimes the finishing of a thing is another matter. But this time of just the Bible and a journal is taking me places that are giving me contentment deep in my soul, even when things don't look so contented! I am determined to keep at it.....no matter the cost.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Knowing......Knowing About
It has been a busy few weeks, but somewhere in there I had the most awesome revelation. More than anything, I want to know God more and see Him intimately involved in every area of my life. He is my constant companion, but I want to be aware of His presence in an ever-deepening circle.
First of all, I must confess that even though I'm not formally involved in any studies, one of the perks of being a part of a ministry is that I am always intrinsically involved in a study of some sort. Right now, I am working through Experiencing God with our students, and that has given me some insight. And I just finished doing a Committed to Freedom Teacher Certification that also shows me different ways to be looking for God. (Diane Langberg says you won't find Jesus with the "pretty people," you'll find Him with the hurting ones.) And whenever someone preaches, I am the one who is always taking notes, looking for more depth.
A lot of this is knowing more about God, but for me it's hard to make that distinction and transition. I will sometimes spend hours and hours learning about God, but avoid sitting still long enough to meet Him face-to-face. But, I am learning a secret. To be filled with the Word is to be filled with the Spirit. God IS the Word, so as I come to know His Word, I am knowing Him.
Besides not doing any studies this year, I have limited my fiction reading to one book a month. I have always loved to escape with Ted Dekker, Bill Myers, and the like. I don't watch much TV, but I can use up a lot of time relaxing with a good book. WHICH IS NOT WRONG! But for this year, I have decided to relax (escape) in different ways. Practicing the piano, trying to paint, quilting, things like that. I am also renewing my efforts to memorize more Scripture. My psalm for this year is 25. I am only 9 verses through it, but it is being buried deep in my heart.
But back to this revelation thing. In the last week, there have been 2 or 3 times when I was doing something, and out of nowhere came a verse that was the answer to a question or situation. I'm not talking about the verses that I have memorized to help me through my "normal" temptations or questionable attitudes. This was something new and different. It wasn't that voice in my head that I recognize as the Holy Spirit that tells me to keep my mouth shut, or get that look off my face. Not at all. It was like God was talking to me through His Word in a way that I haven't known before. I can't describe it well, but I know I want more of it. I think this may be the treasure in the darkness He has promised. The Message puts Jeremiah 29:14 this way: "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed. God's decree."
In some ways I have stumbled along in the past few months, but I think I'm on the right path for me, at this point in my life. Slowly, I am finding that I want to read the Bible more than anything else. Not always, but more often than not.
First of all, I must confess that even though I'm not formally involved in any studies, one of the perks of being a part of a ministry is that I am always intrinsically involved in a study of some sort. Right now, I am working through Experiencing God with our students, and that has given me some insight. And I just finished doing a Committed to Freedom Teacher Certification that also shows me different ways to be looking for God. (Diane Langberg says you won't find Jesus with the "pretty people," you'll find Him with the hurting ones.) And whenever someone preaches, I am the one who is always taking notes, looking for more depth.
A lot of this is knowing more about God, but for me it's hard to make that distinction and transition. I will sometimes spend hours and hours learning about God, but avoid sitting still long enough to meet Him face-to-face. But, I am learning a secret. To be filled with the Word is to be filled with the Spirit. God IS the Word, so as I come to know His Word, I am knowing Him.
Besides not doing any studies this year, I have limited my fiction reading to one book a month. I have always loved to escape with Ted Dekker, Bill Myers, and the like. I don't watch much TV, but I can use up a lot of time relaxing with a good book. WHICH IS NOT WRONG! But for this year, I have decided to relax (escape) in different ways. Practicing the piano, trying to paint, quilting, things like that. I am also renewing my efforts to memorize more Scripture. My psalm for this year is 25. I am only 9 verses through it, but it is being buried deep in my heart.
But back to this revelation thing. In the last week, there have been 2 or 3 times when I was doing something, and out of nowhere came a verse that was the answer to a question or situation. I'm not talking about the verses that I have memorized to help me through my "normal" temptations or questionable attitudes. This was something new and different. It wasn't that voice in my head that I recognize as the Holy Spirit that tells me to keep my mouth shut, or get that look off my face. Not at all. It was like God was talking to me through His Word in a way that I haven't known before. I can't describe it well, but I know I want more of it. I think this may be the treasure in the darkness He has promised. The Message puts Jeremiah 29:14 this way: "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed. God's decree."
In some ways I have stumbled along in the past few months, but I think I'm on the right path for me, at this point in my life. Slowly, I am finding that I want to read the Bible more than anything else. Not always, but more often than not.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Treasures in the Darkness
And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness--secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name. Is. 45:3
Ever feel like you are stumbling in the darkness? Maybe not really a darkness, but a fog? Sometimes, I do. In fact, I have felt that way a little bit lately. Oh, I know God is in control, and I know it all the way to the bottom of my feet, but sometimes it seems He doesn't want me to know "the plan". We've all got one, you know. It may be buried deep in our subconscious, but it's there. Part of my "plan" has some kind of reconnection with my family in it. No, we never had a big blowout. It's just the natural rift created by 16 years, 3 time zones, and the stuff of life. But I still feel an emptiness, and an ache.
A while back the Lord reminded me of His thoughts when He showed me Ps. 45:10-11, " Listen to me, O royal daughter; take to heart what I say. Forget your people, and your family far away. For your roal husband delights in your beauty; honor Him, for he is your lord." These verses give me peace as I navigate family waters, and I'm so thankful.
But it's still foggy. Foggy or not, though, I know the answers to my heart questions can only be found in one place. So through my tears, I stumble back to the only Place where I have never been disappointed.
Looks like my treasures for March will be found in Psalms. Yesterday I read a devo online that quoted Ps. 48:14. "For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and He will guide us until we die." So this morning, I headed to Psalm 48 for the context. Well, God gave me a treasure before I even got started! This psalm was written by the descendants of Korah. Wait---isn't Korah the guy who got swallowed up by the earth because he started an uprising against Moses? Went to Numbers 16, and sure enough, that's the guy.
And yet, it was his family who said....."How great is the Lord, how deserving of praise.....O God, we meditate on your unfailing love as we worship in your Temple....As your name deserves, O God, you will be praised to the ends of the earth....For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and he will guide us until we die."
So, I am looking forward to all the treasures the Lord is going to show me in my darkness, which really isn't so dark after all.......I love You, Lord.
Ever feel like you are stumbling in the darkness? Maybe not really a darkness, but a fog? Sometimes, I do. In fact, I have felt that way a little bit lately. Oh, I know God is in control, and I know it all the way to the bottom of my feet, but sometimes it seems He doesn't want me to know "the plan". We've all got one, you know. It may be buried deep in our subconscious, but it's there. Part of my "plan" has some kind of reconnection with my family in it. No, we never had a big blowout. It's just the natural rift created by 16 years, 3 time zones, and the stuff of life. But I still feel an emptiness, and an ache.
A while back the Lord reminded me of His thoughts when He showed me Ps. 45:10-11, " Listen to me, O royal daughter; take to heart what I say. Forget your people, and your family far away. For your roal husband delights in your beauty; honor Him, for he is your lord." These verses give me peace as I navigate family waters, and I'm so thankful.
But it's still foggy. Foggy or not, though, I know the answers to my heart questions can only be found in one place. So through my tears, I stumble back to the only Place where I have never been disappointed.
Looks like my treasures for March will be found in Psalms. Yesterday I read a devo online that quoted Ps. 48:14. "For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and He will guide us until we die." So this morning, I headed to Psalm 48 for the context. Well, God gave me a treasure before I even got started! This psalm was written by the descendants of Korah. Wait---isn't Korah the guy who got swallowed up by the earth because he started an uprising against Moses? Went to Numbers 16, and sure enough, that's the guy.
And yet, it was his family who said....."How great is the Lord, how deserving of praise.....O God, we meditate on your unfailing love as we worship in your Temple....As your name deserves, O God, you will be praised to the ends of the earth....For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and he will guide us until we die."
So, I am looking forward to all the treasures the Lord is going to show me in my darkness, which really isn't so dark after all.......I love You, Lord.
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