Knowing......Knowing About

It has been a busy few weeks, but somewhere in there I had the most awesome revelation. More than anything, I want to know God more and see Him intimately involved in every area of my life. He is my constant companion, but I want to be aware of His presence in an ever-deepening circle.


First of all, I must confess that even though I'm not formally involved in any studies, one of the perks of being a part of a ministry is that I am always intrinsically involved in a study of some sort. Right now, I am working through Experiencing God with our students, and that has given me some insight. And I just finished doing a Committed to Freedom Teacher Certification that also shows me different ways to be looking for God. (Diane Langberg says you won't find Jesus with the "pretty people," you'll find Him with the hurting ones.) And whenever someone preaches, I am the one who is always taking notes, looking for more depth.


A lot of this is knowing more about God, but for me it's hard to make that distinction and transition. I will sometimes spend hours and hours learning about God, but avoid sitting still long enough to meet Him face-to-face. But, I am learning a secret. To be filled with the Word is to be filled with the Spirit. God IS the Word, so as I come to know His Word, I am knowing Him.

Besides not doing any studies this year, I have limited my fiction reading to one book a month. I have always loved to escape with Ted Dekker, Bill Myers, and the like. I don't watch much TV, but I can use up a lot of time relaxing with a good book. WHICH IS NOT WRONG! But for this year, I have decided to relax (escape) in different ways. Practicing the piano, trying to paint, quilting, things like that. I am also renewing my efforts to memorize more Scripture. My psalm for this year is 25. I am only 9 verses through it, but it is being buried deep in my heart.


But back to this revelation thing. In the last week, there have been 2 or 3 times when I was doing something, and out of nowhere came a verse that was the answer to a question or situation. I'm not talking about the verses that I have memorized to help me through my "normal" temptations or questionable attitudes. This was something new and different. It wasn't that voice in my head that I recognize as the Holy Spirit that tells me to keep my mouth shut, or get that look off my face. Not at all. It was like God was talking to me through His Word in a way that I haven't known before. I can't describe it well, but I know I want more of it. I think this may be the treasure in the darkness He has promised. The Message puts Jeremiah 29:14 this way: "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed. God's decree."


In some ways I have stumbled along in the past few months, but I think I'm on the right path for me, at this point in my life. Slowly, I am finding that I want to read the Bible more than anything else. Not always, but more often than not.