It has been a busy few weeks, but somewhere in there I had the most awesome revelation. More than anything, I want to know God more and see Him intimately involved in every area of my life. He is my constant companion, but I want to be aware of His presence in an ever-deepening circle.
First of all, I must confess that even though I'm not formally involved in any studies, one of the perks of being a part of a ministry is that I am always intrinsically involved in a study of some sort. Right now, I am working through Experiencing God with our students, and that has given me some insight. And I just finished doing a Committed to Freedom Teacher Certification that also shows me different ways to be looking for God. (Diane Langberg says you won't find Jesus with the "pretty people," you'll find Him with the hurting ones.) And whenever someone preaches, I am the one who is always taking notes, looking for more depth.
A lot of this is knowing more about God, but for me it's hard to make that distinction and transition. I will sometimes spend hours and hours learning about God, but avoid sitting still long enough to meet Him face-to-face. But, I am learning a secret. To be filled with the Word is to be filled with the Spirit. God IS the Word, so as I come to know His Word, I am knowing Him.
Besides not doing any studies this year, I have limited my fiction reading to one book a month. I have always loved to escape with Ted Dekker, Bill Myers, and the like. I don't watch much TV, but I can use up a lot of time relaxing with a good book. WHICH IS NOT WRONG! But for this year, I have decided to relax (escape) in different ways. Practicing the piano, trying to paint, quilting, things like that. I am also renewing my efforts to memorize more Scripture. My psalm for this year is 25. I am only 9 verses through it, but it is being buried deep in my heart.
But back to this revelation thing. In the last week, there have been 2 or 3 times when I was doing something, and out of nowhere came a verse that was the answer to a question or situation. I'm not talking about the verses that I have memorized to help me through my "normal" temptations or questionable attitudes. This was something new and different. It wasn't that voice in my head that I recognize as the Holy Spirit that tells me to keep my mouth shut, or get that look off my face. Not at all. It was like God was talking to me through His Word in a way that I haven't known before. I can't describe it well, but I know I want more of it. I think this may be the treasure in the darkness He has promised. The Message puts Jeremiah 29:14 this way: "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed. God's decree."
In some ways I have stumbled along in the past few months, but I think I'm on the right path for me, at this point in my life. Slowly, I am finding that I want to read the Bible more than anything else. Not always, but more often than not.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Treasures in the Darkness
And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness--secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name. Is. 45:3
Ever feel like you are stumbling in the darkness? Maybe not really a darkness, but a fog? Sometimes, I do. In fact, I have felt that way a little bit lately. Oh, I know God is in control, and I know it all the way to the bottom of my feet, but sometimes it seems He doesn't want me to know "the plan". We've all got one, you know. It may be buried deep in our subconscious, but it's there. Part of my "plan" has some kind of reconnection with my family in it. No, we never had a big blowout. It's just the natural rift created by 16 years, 3 time zones, and the stuff of life. But I still feel an emptiness, and an ache.
A while back the Lord reminded me of His thoughts when He showed me Ps. 45:10-11, " Listen to me, O royal daughter; take to heart what I say. Forget your people, and your family far away. For your roal husband delights in your beauty; honor Him, for he is your lord." These verses give me peace as I navigate family waters, and I'm so thankful.
But it's still foggy. Foggy or not, though, I know the answers to my heart questions can only be found in one place. So through my tears, I stumble back to the only Place where I have never been disappointed.
Looks like my treasures for March will be found in Psalms. Yesterday I read a devo online that quoted Ps. 48:14. "For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and He will guide us until we die." So this morning, I headed to Psalm 48 for the context. Well, God gave me a treasure before I even got started! This psalm was written by the descendants of Korah. Wait---isn't Korah the guy who got swallowed up by the earth because he started an uprising against Moses? Went to Numbers 16, and sure enough, that's the guy.
And yet, it was his family who said....."How great is the Lord, how deserving of praise.....O God, we meditate on your unfailing love as we worship in your Temple....As your name deserves, O God, you will be praised to the ends of the earth....For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and he will guide us until we die."
So, I am looking forward to all the treasures the Lord is going to show me in my darkness, which really isn't so dark after all.......I love You, Lord.
Ever feel like you are stumbling in the darkness? Maybe not really a darkness, but a fog? Sometimes, I do. In fact, I have felt that way a little bit lately. Oh, I know God is in control, and I know it all the way to the bottom of my feet, but sometimes it seems He doesn't want me to know "the plan". We've all got one, you know. It may be buried deep in our subconscious, but it's there. Part of my "plan" has some kind of reconnection with my family in it. No, we never had a big blowout. It's just the natural rift created by 16 years, 3 time zones, and the stuff of life. But I still feel an emptiness, and an ache.
A while back the Lord reminded me of His thoughts when He showed me Ps. 45:10-11, " Listen to me, O royal daughter; take to heart what I say. Forget your people, and your family far away. For your roal husband delights in your beauty; honor Him, for he is your lord." These verses give me peace as I navigate family waters, and I'm so thankful.
But it's still foggy. Foggy or not, though, I know the answers to my heart questions can only be found in one place. So through my tears, I stumble back to the only Place where I have never been disappointed.
Looks like my treasures for March will be found in Psalms. Yesterday I read a devo online that quoted Ps. 48:14. "For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and He will guide us until we die." So this morning, I headed to Psalm 48 for the context. Well, God gave me a treasure before I even got started! This psalm was written by the descendants of Korah. Wait---isn't Korah the guy who got swallowed up by the earth because he started an uprising against Moses? Went to Numbers 16, and sure enough, that's the guy.
And yet, it was his family who said....."How great is the Lord, how deserving of praise.....O God, we meditate on your unfailing love as we worship in your Temple....As your name deserves, O God, you will be praised to the ends of the earth....For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and he will guide us until we die."
So, I am looking forward to all the treasures the Lord is going to show me in my darkness, which really isn't so dark after all.......I love You, Lord.
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